Reflections

As I sit here and reflect, I remember the beginning of this year and how I had so many high hopes as to what I would do and learn about God and myself. I remember in January I was confused as to who I was and why certain things were happening. Now I am thinking the same thing but with a different pair of eyes. (THERE IS A LOT OF STUFF IN HERE, I KNOW, BUT IT IS GOOOOOOD STUFF)

This year I have grown exponentially in my relationships with the Lord, my roommates, family and I have made so many new friends (Holla at y’all). God has revealed himself in the most unusual circumstances and has used me in those as well. I have been broken in every area of my life and have learned to handle those broken situations. I have always heard and known that God’s will is the best thing for us but I didn’t understand that until this year. I started this year in a relationship and now I am ending it single. I started this year with so many close friends and now I am closer with those friends and more. I started this year with an innocent view of the world and now I have a realistic viewpoint. I started this year with a relationship with God and now I have the closest relationship with God I have ever had. I have felt and understood God more this year than ever before. Even though throughout this year I have never been more confused and discontent, I know why God has placed me in situations. God knew (and knows) that there were changes I had to make in my life before I could fully hold onto these great passions I have had. 

This has been a year of love, pain, tears, trials, adventure, uncomfortability, new friends, humility, understanding, mercy, hope, laughs and so much more. I am a completely different person than I was a year ago and it is definitely for the better. I now know the meaning of pain. I know what real unconditional love looks like. I know how to be a good friend, roommate and discipler. I have learned how to lead and how to follow. I have embraced my downfalls and enhanced my strengths. I have learned that even in the midst of the hardest heartbreak, God reveals His character. I have learned that in coffee shops, the greatest and life-giving conversations can happen. I have learned and understood that I can not do anything on my own. I have learned that if I allow God to and give it all up, God can use me in ways I will never imagine. This year, I have learned to be honest. This year, I have found my voice and confidence. 

I am being very vague in all of this because so many things have been revealed to me and I have done a lot of things this year that I would not be able to talk about it all. I have had the opportunity to shoot 2 weddings and several portrait, family and couple sessions in New Mexico and Texas. I have traveled to California, Texas and all around New Mexico.

This next year, I hope to learn and travel more (especially since I will be graduated from college [hopefully])! From this summer, I have so many friends from all over the country! Through social media and my business being boosted, I have made even more connections and have had an overwhelming amount of support. This next year I hope to make more connections and be able to take photos of more beautiful faces. This next year, I hope to completely embrace this passion that God has put in my heart and use it for His glory. This next year I hope to not be afraid of how God can use me further. This next year, I want to fully rely on God and His love and not on my family and friends. I know that God can use them to encourage me but this year I have understood that people are human and sinful and when I place my hope and trust in them, that is when I start to fail and get weak. 

This year has been the hardest year of my life so far but also the most life-giving. In no way, am I saying that I am perfect and God has "fixed" every problem in my life. I am ending this year with more problems than I started but God is helping me through those. I can walk into this next year knowing that God has worked through me and that I can create some awesome content for Him. 

I am so incredibly grateful for y'all who have stuck with me through this journey. I am praying for you and I want to further encourage you so comment below prayer requests or any comments you may have! I am totally open with all of you! This story is not mine but the Lord's so I would be beyond stoked to talk to you further!

If you want to see a visual journey of what I have done with my year and who I have shared it with, check out my video! (The last 40 seconds of it is a quick edit my boss made of one of my coworkers Kalvin and I. I love it so much and just wanted to add it!)